(inbox.)

[abhorrently]

text | action | delivery | etc.

Comments

[abhorrently]

and yet you care enough to write to me
is your actual problem that you feel hurt i'm suggesting you're engaging in morally bankrupt activities lady de rolo

[not_the_last]

A long pause as of someone composing a lengthy reply, then:

No.

[abhorrently]

then there's something you need to say to me directly
because clearly i'm not smart enough to get it indirectly

[not_the_last]

I am saying it as directly as I possibly can.

What follows is rapid-fire, far less careful than usual, as though exhaustion is catching up with the person typing.

two things can both be wrong without being the same, why is that so difficult to grasp
saying "these things are not identical" is not saying "one of these things is wrong and the other is not"
leaving one's captor to be enslaved by another, as one's only means of escaping said captor, is not the same as directly enslaving many many innocent people
the only way one could possibly perceive them as the same is by considering them equally wrong, and also considering all equally wrong actions somehow identical

[abhorrently]

Oh. So that's what this is about. The delay in replying is longer, but the reason why is clear when it comes through

do you really think tayrey would have understood if i had tried to fully explain that putting someone into his most feared situation is a shitty and deplorable thing to do and that i would immediately cease cooperation if she tried to force the issue, without her instantly shutting down at me because i dared to show some degree of non-hostility to our captor
she shuts down when you dare call him by the only name we know him by because apparently it's some insult to the idea of a captain as if there aren't good captains and awful ones alike
so i had to take some shortcuts to convey a fraction of that. don't get hung up on them

[not_the_last]

I see.

Unfortunately I don't think saying something clearly false is likely to effectively convey anything you want to convey.

[abhorrently]

i made a decision, i took a path, it didn't quite pan out the way i wanted it to
like i said, i'm not that smart

[not_the_last]

A pause.

I wouldn't say that.

[abhorrently]

you can if you like, i say it to myself enough

tell me how well it would have gone over to explain that freeing him would work better for her cause, anyway. he'd owe a debt

[not_the_last]

To be honest I am in some doubt about that myself.

[abhorrently]

it's because you and her are going into this from the perspective of good people
you're good people
i'm not, and so i see a debt that can be leveraged

[not_the_last]

I don't know what I've said or done to give you the notion that I'm a good person.
I see a debt that our captor may not even perceive, let alone honor.

[abhorrently]

you're up at an hour where humans should be asleep trying to make sure you've conveyed to me how incorrect my morals or ethics or whatever this is to me, because it matters to you
you don't want innocents in the crossfire of however this pans out
you're willing to discuss sides you don't agree with

[not_the_last]

Perhaps I just don't like to leave an argument I haven't won yet.

[abhorrently]

why is it so important for you to win against me?

[not_the_last]

An argument is an argument no matter who's involved.

[abhorrently]

so you just like winning?

[not_the_last]

And arguing.

[abhorrently]

none of this is convincing me you're not a good person

[not_the_last]

Sometimes I don't know if

how do you cross out something you've written on these things

[abhorrently]

i think you're supposed to hit the arrow going left to erase it

[not_the_last]

Yes, that seems to work. Thank you.

[abhorrently]

would you prefer i didn't ask you what you were in the midst of saying

[not_the_last]

I don't know.

I was in the midst of saying something I know isn't true but sometimes I wonder about it anyway. I don't know if that makes any sense.

[abhorrently]

it does
true or false it doesn't stop the mind from thinking about it