"No. It's best that he doesn't know - your instincts are correct. If he knew I was keeping an eye out, he could very easily work to deceive me to hide himself. And if nothing at all happens, then there's no need to burden him with the idea that he needed to be watched. This matter is between you and me, and it'll stay that way."
It's not as though she's unused to keeping secrets from Gaeta. Sometimes it's not about lying, and more about someone else's peace of mind. What would either of them gain, if she told him why she slit his throat those months ago? What would it do for them? Not everyone needs to know everything.
"If you find you need anything else...I'm staying with Lyubov and Anzu currently, and they've been kind with me having visitors. I know you'd be welcome if you wanted to come by." A tiny, tiny beat. "You said you were sealed away from companionship, and I hope you don't feel like that now."
He appreciates her reassuring judgement more than most would, he thinks. He's spent too long having his own questioned, twisted, and beguiled.
But she speaks again, and he smiles ruefully, looking down at his lap where his hands fidget with one another. "Truth be told, I... I believe that such loneliness is a feeling I will be living with all my life. Though I'm working on gathering evidence to the contrary. Today will be a nice addition, I think."
Lev, Anzu, and Fever all in one place. It sounds like a place he may be very fussed over, which makes him nervous, but a lot of good company besides. It is a good thing, to be worried about. He'll have to learn how to readjust to the discomfort of attention.
"If it's possible, I hope that there will be many more days like today. Many more pieces of evidence to contradict it."
Many more times that someone reaches out in one way or another, to have the word friend said and not contradicted. It's an ongoing process, Fever knows - there's never quite a cure for things like this. But there's patience, and there's those who will provide a safety net, and it's a little easier to breathe with both of those things there. Winter's coming soon, anyway, and that'll lighten the load some as well.
May she never need to act on this promise made. May it remain a possibility, and not an intervention she'll have to execute. May the loneliness, if it doesn't leave, become outweighed on the regular. May he remember he's cared for, by many souls.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It's not as though she's unused to keeping secrets from Gaeta. Sometimes it's not about lying, and more about someone else's peace of mind. What would either of them gain, if she told him why she slit his throat those months ago? What would it do for them? Not everyone needs to know everything.
"If you find you need anything else...I'm staying with Lyubov and Anzu currently, and they've been kind with me having visitors. I know you'd be welcome if you wanted to come by." A tiny, tiny beat. "You said you were sealed away from companionship, and I hope you don't feel like that now."
no subject
But she speaks again, and he smiles ruefully, looking down at his lap where his hands fidget with one another. "Truth be told, I... I believe that such loneliness is a feeling I will be living with all my life. Though I'm working on gathering evidence to the contrary. Today will be a nice addition, I think."
Lev, Anzu, and Fever all in one place. It sounds like a place he may be very fussed over, which makes him nervous, but a lot of good company besides. It is a good thing, to be worried about. He'll have to learn how to readjust to the discomfort of attention.
wrap.
Many more times that someone reaches out in one way or another, to have the word friend said and not contradicted. It's an ongoing process, Fever knows - there's never quite a cure for things like this. But there's patience, and there's those who will provide a safety net, and it's a little easier to breathe with both of those things there. Winter's coming soon, anyway, and that'll lighten the load some as well.
May she never need to act on this promise made. May it remain a possibility, and not an intervention she'll have to execute. May the loneliness, if it doesn't leave, become outweighed on the regular. May he remember he's cared for, by many souls.